Serving proudly since 1873 as the beautiful Nebraska Panhandle's first newspaper

Tales of a coffee-holic: The right age

In the course of the past week, two of my good friends from high school gave birth to baby girls. I couldn’t be more happy for my old friends and their husbands, although it seems weird that I’m finally at the age where peers are getting pregnant intentionally.

I’m so pleased that both ladies are doing well and their little ones arrived safely. This recent occurrence caused to realize that I do not wish to become a parent anytime soon, if at all. There are arguments out there both for and against becoming a parent later in life and both seem to hold some validity. Of course it’s nice to have kids out of the house by the time you’re 50, to enjoy some peace and quiet or to be an active grandparent in one’s 50s and 60s. On the other hand, spending some quality time with one’s spouse or significant other before having to deal with your offspring’s bowel movements and wall-drawings seems like a decent idea as well.

Some say having children later in life is too difficult physically, that it takes too much energy. I can understand this and really can’t imagine having the energy to take care of a child even at this point in my life, so maybe I’m just not suited for it. My mother was 36 when I was born and my dad was 39. They spent 10 years married before my older brother was born. I never felt that my parents didn’t have enough energy to keep up with me. We went on many family trips during which we often hiked. My dad would often take me on bike rides much too long for my own endurance and rigged up a system to pull me behind his own bike when I became too tired to continue. I think there are valid arguments to be made on both sides. I have quite a few cousins who gave birth to their first children in their mid-40s.

My mom remarked when I was home for Christmas that when I was very small, I asked her how old you have to be to have a baby and she told me 30. She joked that I seemed to be sticking to that particular piece of advice. I hope I do. Although I applaud those who have their lives together enough to have a child at 25 or 26, I am definitely not one of those people. On the side of vanity, I hate to admit that I’m concerned about what having a baby would do to my body. I’ve heard horror stories and they’re not all about stretch marks, if you know what I mean. After recently beginning to pay back student loans, my meager reporter’s salary takes some stretching to accommodate just my own needs. Maybe it’s selfishness that keeps me from the desire of having children anytime soon. I enjoy my alone time. Bearing the responsibility for a helpless infant’s wellbeing would probably put a hitch in that.

There are pros and cons to having children at any age. One either gets to be a young, cool mom with more energy or older, and perhaps wiser with maybe a larger struggle to make it out of bed for midnight feedings. I guess the right thing to do is just to pick the time that is best for you.

In addition to all of my previous arguments, the slightly terrifying thing about parenthood is it’s the one career in which if you mess up you can’t just quit and start over.

 

Reader Comments(0)