Defining Distance

Sometimes I wish there could be a way to record quick thoughts from a radio broadcast.

The problem or challenge is that I heard this particular comment while driving. I’m pretty sure the only thing more distracting than talking on a phone while driving is trying to take notes while driving. So to paraphrase, in this coronavirus reaction, never forget the importance of social connectivity.

Social connectivity, or being socially connected. The difference is between seeing someone familiar across the street and waving at him or her and sitting down to a lunch and conversation.

I thought about titling this “What We’ve Learned from the Virus, Chapter 2.” It is, after all, an ongoing living classroom none of us signed up for.

In January, the coronavirus was just a headline trying to distract the reading public from the loss of Kobe Bryant. Fast forward a few weeks and we are greeted with news conferences about a deadly virus that hit a metro area in China and was identified in the U.S. Suddenly conspiracy theories, allegations of global manipulation and rarely seen precautions met at the same table.

Let’s look at what managing this virus has done to us socially. Stay six feet apart. Limit trips to the store to once or twice a week. Work from home when possible. Wear a mask when possible. The directives, executive orders if you prefer, were delivered with two edges, one as sharp as the other. We stay away from the other — social distancing — with the hope of outliving the coronavirus, now nicknamed COVID-19. In exchange, relationships are strained and as sanitized as a bad sci-fi movie scene. Buzz Lightyear calls home to his family for some Zoom intimacy, a call that takes months to transmit.

But why call it “social distancing”? Why in the cause of health is everyone expected to expand their personal comfort zone? The better idea would be to call it physical distancing.

What’s the difference you might ask. Simple: the message is in the choice of words. Social is an emotional, a human connection issue. I have friends who when I see them it is common to exchange a handshake or a hug. Now we feel like rebels if we get close enough to act like more than business associates recognizing each other from opposite sides of the street. I see people while on my “therapy ride” a couple times a week. Unless they are intimately close, the outside offers plenty of natural barriers; the Nebraska breeze and sunshine are examples.

What if in acknowledging we need to stay safe, we also acknowledge we need to stay connected? Smart prevention when it is cold or flu season is to stay home when sick, limit exposure to other people if you are immune-compromised, don’t share drinking glasses and etc that could spread the germs… common reactions that have been with us for generations. What if we seek the balance, stay socially connected, even over a coffee or something in the name of social connectivity, and accept physical distancing when needed?

It is all about balance. Humanity is not designed to run the race alone. The cheerleaders, the coach, the team, even the competitors are part of what makes us social, and human.

Remember the cliche: no man is an island. It is both an admonishment and an encouragement. We are who we are because of the people we surround ourselves with, because of the values we learn and live. A constant separation does little to strengthen the social fiber of the world.

As sober as it is, maybe we need to remember none of us get out of this existence alive. Why not make it a memorable experience? What if living a full and connected life is the best novel a person can write, regardless if a person ever picks up a pen or not.